Babe I’m leaving, I must be on my way
the time is drawing near
I can still hear the intro. That fucking piano twinkling out the cheesiest music box, ballerina twirling in the light of a desk, intro to a song ever created. Thanks Styx. Really, I have nothing against Styx. They are one of my dad’s favorite bands. And uncle’s. And they still tour all the time, so, clearly, countless others. But having to sing that song as a seventh grader in mandatory Choir class made me hate it. Hate it sooo much. When I hear it at Kroger and it sends shivers up the back of my neck it reminds me how much I hate it, even still.
I’ve brought it up to co-workers and friends. It has become a topic of conversation at times. I know it’s ridiculous, but deeply embedded in my soul is the pain of ‘Babe’. It’s like scratching a chalkboard or a fork scratching a plate or tearing your fingernail, which I am also slightly petrified of as well, but hearing that song irritates me in that same way. It makes me cringe; you know, that physical, convulsive cringe that you can’t really explain to someone standing next you. It’s like a pee shiver, but a clenched teeth, squinting, butt clenching, toe curling, unpleasant pee shiver.
You know it’s you Babe
whenever I get weary and I’ve had enough
We had to sing it over and over, our pubescent voices crackling out in an uninterested drone. It was torture. Most of us had no interest in Choir, but being forced to be there stoked a defiance already found in teenagers like it was nature following it’s course. We joked, we laughed, we talked, occasionally we sang, but mostly we were an annoyance to our teacher. He knew we didn’t want to be there and he probably didn’t either much of the time, but he still had a class to teach and concerts to put together without a major meltdown. Looking back, he did a pretty good job, as far as I can remember. I don’t remember anyone going crazy during a concert, although, to be fair, I don’t remember much of seventh grade anymore. And thank god! Who wants to relive those years?
All that said, I still kind of blame him for my hatred of that song. And I still fucking hate that song. Fuck you Styx, you talented sons’a’bitches. Of course, I could be wrong. If you are unfamiliar of this song I recommend you give it a listen. You might think the song’s great and I’m just an idiot. And if you already know and love the song, I’m not the least bit sorry for what I’ve said about Styx. That’s what art is all about. If you love it, then love it with all your heart because I’ll be over here hating it with all mine. And that makes it fun. And maybe you know and hate it as well, or are listening to it right now thinking, man this song sucks. To you all, I give mental high fives. You guys rule!
Babe I love you.